BENDING REALITY

TTM #30 THE FREEDOM PLAN 2.0

Eleonora Gendelman Season 1 Episode 30

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#TTM EP. 30 - THE FREEDOM PLAN 2.0

Time management is a challenge. It's not just something that would be nice to do. It's not just a skill that would be great to develop. It affects every single thing in our life.

As humans, we are the only species that are able to sit and think about our future selves.

Anyone can start something, it does not require a lot of effort. But it takes something different to finish something. The trust we have with ourselves is the main difference between completing something and not completing something.

Planning is all about taking care of yourself. It's about building into your life, the things that are the most important to you, but also the things you need as a human to be able to function at the highest level.

In this episode, I go through some useful concepts to consider, and the exact process of deliberate planning.


#TTM EP. 30 - THE FREEDOM PLAN // SELF ENQUIRY

  • Think about your priorities. Write a list of what you want your priorities to be. Five things.

Then write down how you spent your day yesterday.
Look at how you use your time yesterday. Does it reflect your priorities?
Look at how you want your life to be and look at how you are spending your time.

  • Plan your week ahead. Follow through. Let me know how it goes!


FEATURED ON THE SHOW:

Ep. 6 CREATING MORE TIME
Ep. 22 RIGHT DECISIONS
Ep. 28 FEELING ON PURPOSE
Ep. 29 THE FREEDOM  PLAN

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TTM #30 THE FREEDOM PLAN 2.0

If you haven't listened to the previous episode, go back to Episode 29 where I explain all the concepts that are important when planning, managing time, and your calendar.

Time management is a challenge for people. It's not just something that would be nice to do. It's not just a skill that would be great to develop. It affects every single thing in our life.

So many people think they are busy. They are so busy that they are at the effect of time and other people and other things in their lives. They are a victim of their circumstances. When we talk about being busy, it's almost as if it's a thing that exists outside of us or even a thing that's just true. It's just true that we are busy. And this is just what's going on. How you identify yourself and how you identify your life, is going to affect how you show up in it. So when you hear yourself saying ‘I am really busy’, or ‘that's just the way I am’, you are going to affect your productivity and what you're able to do in the world.


‘But I have so much to do, so I need to work extra hours and stay longer at work.’ It's almost like there's a badge of honour to stay late. And in reality, those people are just sloppy. They do not manage their time well enough to do all the work in the time that they have in a day. ‘Well, if I work a lot of hours, it means I'm working hard. It means I'm putting in the time to produce more.’ Putting in a lot of time does not mean you're productive and actually producing more. You need to be productive enough to get your work done in the timeframe you have in a day. If you can't get your work done in let's say eight hours a day, it's probably because your time management is sloppy. People who are busy and are working extra hours end up being burnt out and exhausted. And the real issue is not that they have so much work to do. It's just that they are not planning their time well enough. Life isn't busy, you are not busy. You are just thinking that way about your life and it creates so much stress and so much overwhelm.

Managing your time creates an impeccable identity for yourself. If you're not quite there, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. All it means is that you haven't established the skill set yet. Showing up when you said you will and completing tasks on time is not just a reflection of your time management but it is also a reflection of your integrity and your word. But what about things that come up? You can plan your life in the way that things can come up and you can accommodate them and still honour your word and still deliver what you're going to deliver on time. The most important piece of this is honouring your word to yourself. And that is what the whole calendaring process is about. It's you taking the time to live your life consciously, plan your time consciously, and most importantly, follow through on what you say you're going to do.

It's way easier said than done.

This is all about living a conscious and deliberate life, paying attention to your life using the best part of your brain.

So let's talk about the prefrontal cortex and why it's so important to plan. If you're planning ahead of time what you want to do on purpose you're not just reacting to whatever is going on around you. You will learn the skill which you will be able to apply to every area of your life utilising your prefrontal cortex, which is really your superpower as a human to be able to plan something deliberately ahead of time, making decisions ahead of time for how you want to spend your life and how you want to show up and then follow through on it.

What is important to remember about your brain is that we have another part of the brain that is that primitive brain that wants to be reactive, that wants to just be very spontaneous and go through life and not have to think at a higher level. And then we have that prefrontal cortex which is the part of the brain that can plan and can think about the future. This is why we do not see animals out in nature having meetings. They're not planning their lives, they're not deciding when they are going to have kids; everything is just reactive in the animal world. As humans, we are really the only species that are able to sit and think about our future selves. We can think about our future lives.

‘But I want to be spontaneous. I want to be able to do whatever I feel like doing in the moment.’ No, you actually do not. You do not want to do what you feel like doing in the moment because the way your brain is programmed is to just be reactive. And so you'll never be able to create anything in your life on purpose. being spontaneous actually means ‘I want to do what I want to do.’ And when you plan time to actually have free time and do the things you want to do, you end up doing them so much more than when you're just running, doing 100 things at the same time. When you're not deliberate about your life and you're being reactive to things, you do not have the free time to actually do what you want to do. But you're also in this mindset that your life is happening to you, that it's not an option, that you have to do all the things that are coming at you and that you are at the effect of them.

How often have you looked at your life and thought ‘hmm, this is not the reflection of what I want my life to be. This is my life but this is not the life I want to have. This is not the life I choose.’ But the truth is, this is the life you choose. It is the life you are choosing in the moment with your primitive brain instead of choosing your life ahead of time with your prefrontal cortex. So living a deliberate life means that you really think about ‘do I want to do this thing on purpose?’

So think about your priorities. Write a list of what you want your priorities to be. Five things. Then write down how you spent your day yesterday. Look at how you use your time yesterday. Does it reflect your priorities? Look at how you want your life to be and look at how you are spending your time. You get to spend your time, it's your time, it's your life. You get to spend it however you want. Be a deliberate creator of the life that you are living. And the way that you do that is by thinking about tomorrow today and planning tomorrow today. If you plan ahead of time time to rest, to work, to play, you will not be having this feeling of ‘I should be doing something else.’ You should be doing exactly what you're doing and what is on your calendar.

Anyone can start something it does not require a lot of effort to start something, but it takes something different to finish something. And when you're not planning your time, and when you're not planning your projects, and when you're not taking the time ahead of time to see how long it might take you and to give yourself a chance to do it, you're spending a lot of time starting and not finishing. When you build a relationship with yourself, when you honour that calendar no matter what, what do you know you can trust yourself that your future self is going to finish that project, you're not having that constant energy drain of when is that going to get done? It eliminates excuses. Imagine your life if you don't need any excuses. The trust you have with yourself is the main difference between completing something and not completing something. What's the secret to success? To be able to do what you say you're going to do in a consistent way.

When you're evaluating your life, it really comes down to all of those little decisions that you make about how to live it. And if you're not willing to make those decisions ahead of time, you're not going to end up with a life that is conscious and deliberate.


Some useful concepts to think about when planning. First, constraint. You need to constrain your ideas, your projects your goals.


Focus on one main goal, one main project at a time, pick one at a time and constrain your focus on that. If you start multiple projects at the same time, you will jump from one project to another whenever one starts to feel a bit uncomfortable. Finding all possible reasons why the other one is not going to work out anyway. You will miss out on the process of completion, completing something, and creating those strategic byproducts. And this is what goal setting is about. Pick a project, plan on not feeling like doing it, because this is part of the process. Plan for that resistance, plan for the fear that will come with it. Pick one thing, pick one project, and commit to that project.

Having a lot of dreams is great, but not at the same time. Which one should you pick? It doesn't matter. Decide. What matters is you constrain your energy on that one thing until it's complete. Making decisions is what will determine how your life turns out.


Let's talk about planning. The only species that can plan are humans. And a lot of times we do not want to plan things, we do not want to take the time to plan because we feel like the time that we are taking to plan something we could actually just be doing it. ‘I don't want to plan because I won't follow the plan anyway.’ So the question is ‘why don't we do what we plan on doing?’ You are planning your life and you are basically creating what your future self is going to have to do. Planning is all about taking care of yourself. It's about building into your life, the things that are the most important to you, but also the things you need as a human to be able to function at the highest level.


Let's talk about resistance. The natural brain, that primitive brain will want to just indulge in pleasure. You will not want to do any of the things that you plan to do, especially when you get to the point where you're actually going to do it. And then there is also that resistance of feeling like I am at the effect of my calendar and having to do what we say we are going to do. So you want to be able to say more so that you want to do those things instead of you have to do them, and also realising that everything is optional. It's important to plan on that resistance. And that amazing feeling of being proud of yourself comes actually when you move through that resistance. You follow through on everything you say you're going to do. So what is time? Time is in your mind, time is a mental construct. We do not need to manage time, time will pass anyway. What we need to manage is our mind around it and our thoughts about it. There is always enough time and you are the one deciding how to allocate it. Time is really what you decide it is and it takes as long as you decide that it's going to take to do it. Instead of scheduling something and saying ‘I don't know how long it's gonna take, you decide ahead of time ‘I schedule two hours to prepare this project. This is how long it’s going to take.’ It's not that external object that decides how long it will take. You decide how much time you want to spend with this project. And then it's done. You decide how long it will take you, commit to this timeframe, listen to the feedback. If you want to allocate more or less time next time you can adjust next time, but today you stick to this timeframe. You practice keeping commitments to yourself. You are the one deciding how much time you want to spend on things, projects, and people.


So let's move to the process. Pick a day when you want to plan your week ahead. It could be Monday morning. It could be Sunday evening. Scheduled time, one hour to be deliberate with your life and create your schedule using your prefrontal cortex and planning ahead of time for your future self. Before you do that, you want to eliminate any distractions. Turn off your phone, so you can be present with yourself and your life. If you plan and schedule on your computer, turn off all notifications on your computer. This is your focus time. You want to be in a space that is silent, where you can be alone, where other people are not a distraction. For this process, we are using our prefrontal cortex which means we think from and for that highest version of ourselves. And we are not allowing that primitive brain to distract us. Within this hour you write down all the things, all the to-dos you have for this week. Our brain is a processor it is not designed to store information, put it all on paper, so you can look at it, so you can prioritise it. Otherwise, the brain will prioritise whatever comes up first. Primitive brain is reactive. We need to direct it on purpose. So empty your brain, so you can look at it and adjust the order of priority. All the big things and projects and all the small things, all the notes you maybe have in your phone. So it's all in one place. If you have big projects on your list, you break them down into smaller steps. For example, I am preparing a retreat, what are the things and steps I need to do? Researching the venue, visiting venues, thinking about the programme, creating the schedule, thinking about marketing, organising catering, etc. Then dividing those into even smaller steps, preparing specific classes and workshops, inviting people etc. From that place, you schedule those things, you put them into your calendar. There is no magic calendar, whatever works for you, it could be online, it could be on paper, I prefer paper. Schedule your sleep, your free time, your work time, your play time, your rest time, your family time, your meal time, time to prep your meals, time to commute. Also knowing that if the public transport is often delayed, you plan that in, training time, time to be creative, time for studying and education. Time to check and reply to emails and notifications, time to be still and quiet, social time. All the things you have on your list in your order of priority. A tip - schedule your life first, block off your free time and personal time, so you know why you work.


After you have it all on your calendar, you might be thinking, well, there are more things on my list than I have time in a week. Indeed, that could be. there are a lot of things that we can do in our life, or we think we have to do in our life, which is a lie. We can do anything but we can't do everything. So some things on the list are probably not your priority. And you need to let them go or schedule for the next week or next month. There will be always more things to do than you feel like there is time for them, which is a great thing. And you are the one deciding what and who is actually worth your time. So saying no to things, people, projects is part of the process. So you deliberately invest your time in things that matter for you. Some things you might decide to do next month, some things next week, next year. Some things would be nice to do, but actually not. some things people asked you to do, but that's actually not what you want to do. So becoming clear on all the things and to do's that might feel overwhelming. You look at them as facts, as options, as opportunities and you decide what opportunity you want to take, what requests you want to answer, what idea you want to let go off. Evaluating and eliminating on purpose. So those things also do not take up space in your brain. If you decide, no, this is actually not what I want to do this week, this month, this year, It's done. It is a no, it does not take up space in your brain. Sometimes we have ideas and things we want to do in our head for months and years. We put it on our to do lists every week and every month and every year. So take time to evaluate them. Maybe they are outdated, question everything. Do I still want to do it? Maybe it is not as important, if I haven't created time for it yet. Then I can let it go. Or maybe it is actually important. And I never scheduled time to deal with it on purpose. Maybe it has something to do with your health. But you neglected it so many years. So becoming clear that this is actually a priority. And if you're able to delegate some things, to your partner, to your colleagues, etc. You can do that too. But also schedule the time to do that. So it actually gets done.

On the other hand, if you have overflow time, which means more time in a week than you have to do on your list, you can choose how you use the time. You can add more rest time, travel time, you can decide that you can use this time to perfect that project or just to be still and meditate. But do not rely on that overflow time instead of actually getting what you said you were going to do done in the amount of time that you gave yourself. honour yourself and honour your word. This is the process.

Once you have it all on your calendar, you can let go of the to do list. Why not? You would need it only if you don't trust yourself that you will follow through and actually complete every task in your calendar. What an amazing feeling it is if you look at your scheduled week and you know that every task on this calendar will be accomplished and completed and those will be the results I will have at the end of the week.


Everything is set now you get to work. Now it is your job to follow through and show up for whatever it is in your calendar, no matter what. Keeping commitments to yourself and knowing that you were the one who planned this week for yourself with the best intentions. Feeling the resistance, listening to your primitive brain trying to escape, trying to change up things, finding excuses and reasons not to do it and doing it anyway, especially if you don't feel like it. Your future self next week will be so grateful for you doing this work.


So when it's Monday or any day you choose to start your week. Monday is usually my day off. So this is where I plan my week ahead. So whatever day it is for you to start the work week and you are in front of your calendar, plan in to have resistance, plan in to not want to do it, to maybe feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. It is part of the deal. You get used to it. It's building that discipline with yourself, showing up for yourself and for your life. The life that you want to create on purpose. You do it even if you don't feel like it. You do not overthink, you do not change your plans according to what your primitive brain wants to do in the moment, you look at your calendar, you show up for every task because this is what will create for you those results you want to accomplish. If something does not work, make adjustments next week, but do not change up the schedule in the moment. Every time you do follow through, that's when you're building that trust and integrity with yourself.


But wait, what about emergencies? There are some things that might come up that I need to interrupt my calendar for. There are so many things out there, all the excuses, all the things that we think are emergencies, but really they are not. However, yes, some unexpected things happen. You can also plan for them or schedule time for unexpected things. Delayed trains, emergencies. This is that overflow time that you can use it for. Because if you give yourself the excuse of ‘I can do it later’, you're not developing that relationship with yourself. You're not developing that sense of trust, which is so helpful in more than just time management. Obviously life happens and you know what is an emergency for you. You can define it for yourself ahead of time. So you know when XYZ happens, when somebody has an accident, this is an emergency for me. Those are the situations where you can reschedule things and reorient things, but most things are not emergencies. define for yourself ahead of time what is an emergency, otherwise that primitive brain will come up with all possible emergencies and excuses to not do what is on your calendar, because it's hard and uncomfortable. And you will know when it's an excuse and when it's an emergency. We are actually quite capable of looking into the future and anticipating what might come up. We can actually predict the unexpected pretty well. We have the same circumstances for the most part of our life. We go to work, and we can likely anticipate what interruptions will come up. Maybe spending some time chatting to our colleagues or clients after work. etc. For the most parts we can likely expect those things will happen. And then we can set apart that time as overflow time to plan for what's likely to come. And even if those things do not come, you have the space to be able to breathe, to be able to work on other projects or spend more time on things that you had already accomplished and maybe perfecting them a little bit more.


It is a skill we practice and develop. The more we plan, the more we follow the plan and consistently adjust it, the better we become at planning and knowing how long things will take. What is the best time for me to schedule playtime or creative time, or focuse time? is it morning, is it evening? Is it after I have meditated? Do I focus better on an empty stomach or after I had a meal? Do I focus better after training because my body is still and I can use my mind? What are ideal hours for me to work? What tasks at work to schedule first according to my energy levels? All those small things will step by step create the best plan for you where you can be the most productive. There is no magic perfect plan. It is something you have the opportunity and ability to develop. We are all different, the more you try and fail and explore and listen, the more curious you are and the more willing you are to do this process, the better you become at planning. I know for example that I like to work back-to-back and then have time off for the rest of the day. So I can switch off. Some people like to have breaks, maybe naps during the day. They need to have breakfast first, so they can focus etc. It is an exploration and a very personal process.


In the end of the week, you also schedule some time, maybe an hour to reflect on the last week. What worked, what didn't work, what needs to be adjusted, what are my lessons, do I need more rest time, do I want more play time, etc? How did I show up for myself? What did I accomplish? What are my results, celebrate your results and take those lessons into the next week. It's like a closing ritual for the week. So you feel like the week is completed. You can focus on your weekend or day off. And you can start the new week with an empty paper, so you're not processing the last week anymore, but you're ready to enter the new one refreshed and focused on new tasks and projects and results.


If you plan a month ahead or a year, you use the same process end or beginning of the month or a year, goals and plans might be bigger, so you need to divide them into smaller steps. When you commit to planning your life, being focused, showing up for yourself and your life, you will be amazed how different your life will be, not just in your productivity but in actually creating the life you want to live on purpose. When you reclaim that power that you have, to decide to do anything you want to do and to not do anything you do not want to do, you're going to be able to live the life that you want to rather than blaming anything external, and especially time. Let me know how it goes!